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Never Say Never-Ending Reading Log

Tracking reading & creating a small something from all those words in

Caro Kocel
80 min readFeb 27, 2019
Imperfect reading overview 2017–2021. Image: author’s own.

Latest count: Books by male authors = 50. Books by female authors = 46. Books by non-binary authors = 1.

2023: 3 books finished, 1348 pages complete. 1 female, 2 male authors.

Reading period — March

Why and how I chose this book: Found in Beyton village ex-phone box now free library and thought I’d give Paulo Coelho another chance — I find him hit and miss.

What stood out for me? The thick descriptions of the absurdity and facade of celebrity glamour. Each person is fighting their own struggles behind what you see. A critique on consumption society in a less annoying preachy spiritual way than some of Coelho’s other books.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I was glad I gave this book a chance, there was a thriller element to it which kept the pages turning. I hesitate to recommend it because I know other people find Paulo Coelho hit and miss — but since I do too and I enjoyed it, I will give cautiously recommend it.

Reading period — February

Why and how I chose this book: Found in Beyton village ex-phone box now free library and felt interested by the blurb ‘about trees’.

What stood out for me? The couple who lived up an ancient tree for months to protect it, swaying on the branches in the storm, can’t fight it, got to go with it. The academic who discovered that trees commnicate with one another and was rubbished by the academia until she wasn’t. The photograph flipbook of a growing chestnut tree. The man who had a stroke and his partner read to him and let their garden grow until the council came to cut it down. Leave nature to itself and it will do what’s it meant to!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I agree with the critic on the back cover who says the book leaves with you a different frame of reference ‘time matters differently’. This book leaves me wondering how much of it is true — I think the science is true and guess that characters may be amalgams. I highly recommend it.

Reading period — January

Why and how I chose this book: A doctor recommended I ‘top-up’ my breastfeeding with 60 mls of formula per feed to my 4-day old baby. This sounded like a huge quantity and I expected that it would ruin the newly evolving feeding rhythm developing between my baby and I. After helping me overcome this wobble in the early days of breastfeeding, my doula recommended this book, which I devoured, while breastfeeding.

What stood out for me? The links between medicine and business are strong, including in the sphere of breastfeeding. Formula milk has been responsible for numerous baby deaths and illnesses around the world. The consistent undermining of women and their bodies is horrific. Nestle had saleswomen in South Africa dress up as nurses (some were qualified nurses) to visit new mums to sell them formula milk.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I felt absolutely furious after reading this book. Furious at this patriarchal medical system undermining women, their bodies and their intuition, furious that my experience with a doctor was just one example of a messed up global system, separating babies from their very first bond. I believe this is one cause of the global environmental crisis we find ourselves in, with our innate connection to nature being severed from the first. I recommend it to all pregnant women especially to help them understand about breastfeeding and how ‘modern’ society is set up against it. I channelled my anger towards something positive and signed up to become a donor at the local milk bank, where my breastmilk will be used to help sick and premature babies.

2022: 27 books finished, 8858 pages complete. 6 male, 20 female authors, 1 non-binary author

Listening period: 26/11/2022–07/12/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I googled ‘great books about the sea’ and eventually found this one. We were looking for a lighthearted adventure story as our latest bedtime story.

What stood out for me? John Mattera and John Chatterton went on an obsessive quest to find the lost 17th century ship The Golden Fleece of famed merchant-Captain-turned-pirate Joseph Bannister. Chatterton served as a combat medic in Vietnam. Mattera grew up close to organised crime in New York but made it out. The two were about to set off to go treasure hunting for a Spanish galleon before their attention was diverted to The Golden Fleece. The hunt took them millions of dollars and over two years. I learnt that the splinters, shards, and shrapnel from canon balls landing on a ship were often more deadly or dangerous than the canon balls themselves. 17th century canons didn’t have very good aim.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? It was a fun listen and a swashbuckling man-filled story.

Reading period: 28/11/2022–05/12/2022

Why and how I chose this book: We have hired a doula to support us through childbirth and she put in my hands.

What stood out for me? Postnatal recovery is woefully forgotten in UK culture despite the huge benefits to be reaped from this important period. The four main areas to focus on are: rest, food, social support, and bodywork.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I have considered more carefully how we will incorporate these four elements into the period after giving birth and I think I’ll go for a ‘Closing the bones’ ceremony.

Listening period: 23/10/2022–30/10/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I love Matilda! It’s been years since I read it and when I caught a debilitating cold, I wanted to be comforted so got Kate Winslet to read this childhood favourite to me.

What stood out for me? I was reminded of child-me trying to make things move through the power of my eyes alone. I remember wishing I could read as much as Matilda, but also feeling stumped because she was also a mathematical genius whereas I was not. Matilad ready every single children’s book in the library and then went onto the adult books. bruce Bogtrotter, Miss Trunchbull, Mr. and Mrs. Wormwood and Miss Honey — the characters are all fantastic. Thank you Roald Dahl!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I love Roald Dahl just as much today as when I was young. Yes I recommend all of Roald Dahl’s writing which is more diverse than the kids books he is most known for.

Listening period: 17/09/2022–25/11/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I first heard about hypnobirthing when my sister gave birth back in 2016. More recently, another friend who I didn’t expect to be interested in such things followed a course before giving birth. Already a Vipassana meditator, I wondered if there were any specific techniques that hypnobirthing can add to the toolbox for giving birth — I hoped this book would let me know if there is.

What stood out for me? “Breathe in: one, two, three. Breathe out: relax, relax, relax”. Doctors have reported that mothers have said “oh that feels so good” after an epidural needle goes in, but before the medication has actually been injected. The power of the mind and belief is very strong indeed. My body knows what to do though my brain will likely try to get in the way.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I might listen to some of the audio and meditations during labour.

Listening period: 05/09/2022–23/11/2022

Why and how I chose this book: My partner and I enjoyed reading together ‘The Cuckoo’s Calling’ earlier in the year and decided to read another Cormoran Strike detective novel. Now more heavily pregnant, I found myself quickly tired sitting up in bed reading or lying down holding the book up, so we decided to pay for the audiobook to be read to.

What stood out for me? This is book 6 in the Cormoran Strike series, we jumped straight from the first to this one so skipped much of the development of the personal lives of the two detectives, which was fine. Despite being set in modern times, private detective Cormoran Strike and Robin Ellacott trail suspects to see whether they are using electronic devices while online personas are posting online….seemingly unaware of the ‘schedule publish’ function on most social media. There were a lot of suspects and they had to work both online and offline to solve the case.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Being read a crime fiction novel as a bedtime story might help you fall asleep and therefore not quite follow the storyline or keep up with who is who, or might keep you awake with the gripping storyline. I enjoyed it less than the first book which I was more engaged with as I was reading it aloud.

Listening period: 01/06/2022–20/10/2022

Why and how I chose this book: My partner once heard a feature on the radio about parents who don’t use nappies with their babies. As someone who has wondered what women around the world did for centuries before the invention of sanitary towels and tampons, I was curious to learn about what this meant, how it works, and if it was something we might want to try with our baby on the way.

What stood out for me? It is not a natural state for a baby to be comfortable sitting in a pile of pee or poo, it is a learned behaviour. Evolution has taught us to seek a separate place to remain clean while we go to the loo. Babies learn to sit in their shit — and they don’t have to! Since the introduction of disposable nappies and thanks to some advice from Dr. Pampers and friends, the average potty training age in the US doubled from around 18-months in 1940 to around 36-months+ in the late 2000s. “Elimination communication” is not a form of potty training, rather, a way of fostering 2-way communication between carers and baby so that each can learn to understand when and how baby needs to go to the loo.

Elimination Communication is a gentle, non-coercive way to respond to a baby’s natural hygiene needs, from as early as birth. Like all mammals, human babies instinctually resist soiling themselves, their sleep space, and their caregivers, and they clearly communicate about it from birth. With EC, we learn baby’s signals and natural rhythms and assist them with this process until they naturally gain independence (usually by 9–18 months of age). LINK

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? The book’s name can be misleading and offputting though at least it is more obvious in meaning than ‘elimination communication’. As parents-to-be, we are planning to try this technique out, specifically to avoid exclusive reliance on nappies/diapers. Even if we only succeed in one ‘catch’ a day (or a week) that’s one less diaper we will be throwing away or having to wash. There are some easy catches: upon waking, upon a change (eg. if you’ve been carrying baby and now arrived somewhere), before/after bath, some minutes after feeding. Offer opportunities for baby to potty, promote associations between going to the loo and sound or visual cues before spoken language. I can’t say whether or not I recommend it until I’ve tried the techniques!

Listening period: 25/08/2022–09/09/2022

Why and how I chose this book: The wonderful Simone, intimacy coach and founder of the The Pleasure Plus, recommended me this book. I realised that though I’d considered read, and learnt a little about birth preferences, I hadn’t informed myself about the abyss of parenthood.

What stood out for me? In many cultures and communities, women who have given birth have a period of confinement ranging from about 4–8 weeks, during which they are taken care of by other women. New mothers are expected to rest and are helped to heal. Women in South Korea receive daily massages for the first 40-something days — I’ll subscribe to that culture yes please! Poor Americans, don’t have statutory maternity pay, WTF? I don’t know how that society functions. It really makes a lot of sense to make some plans for your fourth trimester to make it easier for your growing family.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I felt like there was a lot of good advice in the book. I listened to this as an audiobook so now I need to go re-listen and put the ideas into action. I expect to do this in my upcoming maternity leave…. hopefully that’s not too late!

Reading period: 20/07/2022–03/09/2022

Why and how I chose this book: J.K. Rowling’s adult fiction “The Casual Vacancy” was one of my partner and I’s favourite shared reading experiences so we decided to try some more, this time the first in the Cormoran Strike crime fiction series.

What stood out for me? This book was great at sending my partner to sleep — a win for our bedtime reading! By the end, I’m not sure he was aware of who was who or what exactly was going on, but I did! It’s a long book to read out loud but we got through it relatively quickly. I discounted my first guess as to whodunnit as too obvious, but it turns out I was right.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
It was an enjoyable yarn and we ordered another in the series (about five books later) on audiobook so I don’t have to hold the heavy book at night.

Reading period: 16/08/2022 — 01/09/2022

Why and how I chose this book: My friend, President of the Vegan Society Luxembourg, came to England to join a vegan camping festival of talks, workshops, music and FOOD, vegan camp out, so I joined her. She’d asked for this book for her birthday so I ordered it. Since another friend had already ordered it for her I kept it for myself.

What stood out for me? Each chapter presents a common question vegans get asked or argument against veganism. One by one, the author presents an evidence-based and logical refutal. For example, what about plants? You know that plants have to die too so that you can eat them? Yes! But if we agree that it I am justified in seeking my own survival (eat plants or die), then eating plants is ok. It is clearly not the case that for the majority of people in the developed world, the choice is not ‘eat meat or die’. What’s more, eating meat involves the intentional killing of a sentient beings to serve our own desires. Even if we agree that we should decrease the suffering or killing of plants, then eating a plant-based diet is preferable as fewer plants are killed to sustain me directly than the quantity of plants required to first feed an animal and then to slaughter it for me to eat. Are you against abortion? In many moral dilemma situations, there are three options which most would agree have different levels of responsibility: a) affirmatively bringing about injury or suffering of someone (killing or hiring someone else to kill someone), b) bringing about injury or suffering through failure to act to help an injured party, and c) an unusually Good Samaritan who goes above and beyond to save another’s life (eg. donating a kidney to save a stranger’s life). But when it comes to a pregnant woman, she is in a unique moral situation; there are only two options — a) affirmatively bringing about injury (death) to the foetus or baby or c) being an unusually Good Samaritan “resulting in her experiencing significant pain, discomfort, and risk to her own health in order to provide another person with what he needs to survive”. There is no middle road or third option.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? It has contributed to me moving along my food-journey and eliminating dairy from my diet (eggs will come later). I plan to make notes so that when I get asked these questions, I am better prepared to answer them well. I will be passing this book around my friends and family, especially non-vegan ones.

Reading period: 24/07/2022–15/08/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I’m pregnant! Knowing that there’s such an overwhelm of conflicting information out there, I didn’t want to do any reading about pregnancy or birth until I felt I had a decent recommendation. I attended a free local antenatal meetup and the facilitators recommended this book.

What stood out for me? Mainstream media has (once again) conditioned most of us into believing numerous myths about giving birth — that your waters will break before going into labour (only sometimes true) and that giving birth involves lying on your back screaming and pushing (what about between contractions when people are pottering around the garden, and why did no one mention orgasmic birth before?). Oxytocin — the love and hugs hormone — is crucial in moving through the labour process. It loves warm, dark, familiar snuggly places and its production may be inhibited by the opposite, well exemplified by the hospital environment. The outcomes for mother for planned home births are no different than those for hospital births. However, there are slightly increased risk for baby for first-time mothers.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Before reading this book, I felt largely clueless about pregnancy and giving birth, though I had the feeling I’d prefer to plan to give birth at home. Now I’ve read it, I feel so well-informed that I might skip the antenatal course I’d considered paying for. I feel knowledgable about what to expect — including the unexpected and unknown — and well-equipped to make a birth plan including a wide range of possible scenarios. I 100% recommend it for pregnant people and their partners to get up to speed on unbiased research and the evidence-base on various aspects of pregnancy and birth, and to better understand the current mainstream practices. Mothers have human rights!

Reading period: 02/07/2022–16/07/2022

Why and how I chose this book: Daniel Pink recommended it on Facebook. The title closely connects with my upcoming research and it’s by a female.

What stood out for me? Bias is like an invisible monster that affects your thinking, actions, and reactions, even when you know about it. Black people are also bias against black people — societal pre-programming runs deep. People from different backgrounds ‘whiten’ their CV by altering or hiding information, such as their name, or adding hobbies like ‘hiking’. Whitened CVs get double the amount of callbacks including from employers that state they are pro-diversity. AirBnB and NextDoor platforms both had to take steps to counter racial discrimination. The effects of bias can me mitigated or reduced through training. Bias tends to come into play most readily when people feel rushed. Where technology today often works to reduce the friction involved in getting something done, adding friction may help mitigate against the effects of bias.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? This was an excellent and easy-to-read introduction to the phenomena of bias. While the book focused predominantly on racial, I’m curious to know what research exists on other forms of bias, such as gender or ability. I will use this book in my research.

Reading period: 13/06/2022–07/07/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I loved the atmosphere in a book/coffee shop I stopped in in The Hague, Netherlands, and wanted to support their business beyond my cup of coffee. I found this book on the shelf and thought it was by a female. It also contributes to my reading of books not originally written in English.

What stood out for me? The writing is incredibly vivid, small details are dropped in to create scene and characters. Jasmine is 10-years old and dealing with grief in a Reformist family of dairy farmers. She stops taking her coat off, to keep herself together. Lots of bumholes in the story. She keeps frogs in a bucket under her desk. Her brother is extremely cruel, perhaps his own way of dealing with the situation. The parents no longer show love to either one another or their remaining children. Lack of touch.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? This was another book I was reading out loud to my partner, usually at bedtime. We were quite relieved to finish as it was becoming increasingly disturbing. If the mark of a well written book is that you experienced something that stays with you, then this is very well written indeed. Perhaps I’ll keep it as a reference for writing analysis. As I was writing this log entry, I learnt the author identifies as non-binary, the first time I’ve noticed that with authors in my reading list.

Reading period: 17/04/2022–29/06/2022

Why and how I chose this book: Having read his history of yesterday and the 21st century, I was keen to read Yuval’s history of tomorrow.

What stood out for me? How long can humans live without meaning? Science is showing the underlying principles of liberalism to be false — we are not individuals with free will. Intelligence and consciousness are decoupling. What will humans become when we cease to be economically or militarily useful? ‘Dataism’ may take over liberalism — are humans mere data processing units, of which there are already more efficient ones. Though algorithms are increasingly important in our lives, no one person really understands them.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I feel my lack of understanding of coding is rising up in importance in my life and wonder if next year I’ll subscribe to a science magazine to better understand some of the technologies around today. I sometimes find it difficult to connect the insights of this book with what happens in everyday reality, which seems rather antiquated when we know what we know today. Why aren’t things working better yet?! Vipassana meditation continues to be very important in my life.

Reading period: 16/04/2022–10/06/2022

Why and how I chose this book: Not entirely sure how it entered my radar but learning that the author was born in Ukraine and fled to France piqued my curiosity. A vague attempt to connect a dot with current events in the Ukraine.

What stood out for me? Rich people fleeing the city with their cars full of furniture, pots and pans. Refugees trying to find a place to stay, anywhere. Trying to make it to another town to hold onto your job though the trains stopped running and no one has any petrol. A young boy leaving his family in the middle of the night to fight for his country. Having a German officer live in your home — war does its best to divide the unity of humanity. Young ladies in the village enjoying Germans, the only young males around.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? History lessons do a poor job of conveying much of anything about people’s lives, though it is individuals who live through what becomes history. I’d never considered the complexity and multiplicity of lives of different people living under occupation. This book was published over 64-years after the author died in Auschwitz — her manuscript was saved by her daughter when fleeing home and subsequently hiding in various locations to escape arrest.

Reading period: 22/03/2022–15/04/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I’d heard about this book from Tim Ferris with more than one guest on his podcast. Instructions on writing and life sound like what I need!

What stood out for me? The importance of shitty first drafts, of showing up and writing 300 words a day. Write about your childhood. You become a detective observer. You don’t need to have your storyline planned before you start writing. Get to know your characters — spend time with them and let them speak to you. Publication won’t change your life — writing will.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? This is an excellent read especially for writers and other creators. The tone is fun, relatable and I loved reading it. I already started listening to characters that had popped up and writing about them. I find this writing process do-able and attractive.

Reading period: 05/04/2022–07/04/2022

Why and how I chose this book: Visiting my friend in Holland with a wonderful book collection, discussing reading. He looks for a female author recommended read for me, “does a graphic novel count?”. Yes.

What stood out for me? This was my first graphic novel and I was a little surprised to find I really enjoyed it! Marjane grew up in Tehran in the 1980s through regime change and war with Iraq. Being forced to wear the veil, outspoken, she got her parents to smuggle her posters of Iron Maiden back from their trip to Turkey. Family members killed, friends tortured, her parents trusted in their daughter’s education.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I’m delighted to have expanded into a new genre of reading at the same time as learning a little more about a topic I knew very little about. Yes I recommend it. Personal stories make history real.

Reading period: 26/03/2022–04/04/2022

Why and how I chose this book: I’d heard of this book already and wanted to read it. My brother’s girlfriend had it on her shelf so I decided to read it while staying with them.

What stood out for me? This book is so well researched and bursting with evidence that I find it difficult to find weak points in the overall argument; the world really is designed for men. The female body, male violence, and women’s unpaid care work. In Iceland, when women ‘went on strike’ from all unpaid care, the day became known as ‘the long Friday’. Unpaid care is not counted in GDP because it was decided that way when folks were deciding what to include and what not to. Across the planet, much of the data that exists does not separate results by gender, assuming that there is a universal, even when only (or a majority of) male participants were included in the original data collection. There is no legislation stating that a female crash test dummy should be used in the driver seat when testing car safety. There are very few anatomically correct female crash test dummies. In politics, men interrupt women, women rarely interrupt men and if they do, they are labelled ‘hysterical’. Favouring women in recruitment doesn’t lead to ‘incompetent women’, rather, increases the overall level of all. So much evidence of biases that we are living in as if it’s normal. Women’s representation in all spheres of life brings benefits to all.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I 100% recommend that everyone read this book. If you believe that ‘all this gender stuff’ or ‘women everywhere now’ is rubbish, why not inform yourself with this well-researched easy-to-read book to be able to better argue reasonably against it. What does it take to change minds? A curious open one in the first place, who informs themselves of a diversity of opinions including those they do and do not agree with.

Reading period: 21/02/22–19/03/22

Why and how I chose this book: I signed up to walk the Camino de Santiago with a group associated through Wayfinding College. Hearing this, a friend lent me the book on the topic.

What stood out for me? Paulo Coelho walked the Camino de Santiago from Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port (France) to Santiago de Compostela (Spain) guided by Petrus. Already initiated to a certain level in something called “RAM tradition”, Paulo walks the strange road, learning exercises and overcoming challenges in search of his sword. He climbed through a waterfall, fought a dog, moved a cross and drank some wine.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Reading this book aloud was the most effective book yet at sending my partner to sleep — he has no clue what happened. Although I’ve enjoyed The Alchemist many times, I didn’t like The Pilgrimage at all. The ‘magic’ seemed nonsense and I felt confused by Christian references, prayer and magic? The ‘exercises’ are presented as if the reader is actually going to follow them and the book might successfully initiate those committed into some realm of magical powers. I was glad that I my partner got to sleep well while reading and gladder that we’ve finished the book.

Reading period: 10/03/22–16/03/22

Why and how I chose this book: I’m not entirely sure. Was I looking for female authors? I saw the topic of slavery and felt compelled to read it. Esi Edugyan is a Canadian author with Ghanaian parents.

What stood out for me? ‘Wash’ was born into slavery on a sugarcane plantation in Barbados owned by a cruel Englishman with an abolitionist crazy-inventor brother, Titch. Wash becomes Titch’s manservant, helping him with experiments, he becomes an incredible illustrator. Wash’s wild story takes him to the Arctic, Nova Scotia, and England.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? The cruelty of slavery makes challenging reading. Having just finished Silas Marner, a regular on English exams in the UK, I think Washington Black would make more informative, gripping, and historically important mandatory reading for British high school students. I am looking forward to sharing this book.

Reading period: 16/02/22–09/03/22

Why and how I chose this book: Back in early 2021 when I asked my Facebook friends for female author recommendations, someone suggested Silas Marner. I’d read it in high school English and decided to revisit. A few failed attempts to get into it, being stuck at home with back injury and no other options, I tried again and finally found my way in.

What stood out for me? Silas Marner was a hard-working honest weaver rejected from the community he grew up in, framed for stealing church money. He left and started a new life in Raveloe where he kept to himself and his work, growing his pile of money — the only thing he felt attached to. One snowy evening, his money is stolen. At the same time, a mother carrying her toddler daughter passes out and dies in the snow. Her daughter follows the light of Silas Marner’s hearth and crawls into his life. He decides to adopt her. The curious loving relationship between single father and adopted daughter connects Silas with the community around him.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I enjoyed reading about a positive father-daughter relationship, which contrasts with the biological father’s secret and journey. I try to contextualise this novel in the time it was written and imagine how out of the ordinary it was (and still is?) for a single man to adopt a young child.

Reading period: 19/02/22–05/03/22

Why and how I chose this book: Passed to me by my sister, another book to help understand the many-pieces-missing-jigsaw of my Polish grandparents’ stories.

What stood out for me? Waclaw Kossakowski’s journey from Poland, to a Soviet gulag in the Archangelsk region, joining the Polish army in Tatiszczewo, Saratova, onto Iran, Palestine, and Egypt — much of this matches what I know of my grandfather. Vadek, whose story this book chronicles, was 20-years old when he was deported to Camp Kola, whereas my granddad was 14. Upon ‘release’ during the so-called ‘amnesty’, Vadek directly joined the Polish army fighting with the allies and onto the horrors of the battles of Monte Cassino. I suppose my granddad, aged 16, was in some form of military cadets, before he officially enlisted in the RAF aged 18. Despite the loss of thousands of Polish lives fighting for the Allies, they were denied the right to participate in the Victory Parade, for fear of antagonising Stalin. Forced from their homes, fighting for the Allies, unable to return to Soviet-ruled communist Poland, forced to a foreign country many didn’t want to be in, they were welcomed with protests and cries of “Poles go home”. It took 60-years for the UK to accept the Polish to the commemorative march along the mall, in 2005. Vadek saw his mum in Poland again after 27-years.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? We humans are pretty poor at learning from history, far better at repeating it. Today I hear that the majority of Ukrainian refugees fleeing from Putin’s 2022 invasion are now in Poland. I had hoped to be able to get my grandfather’s birth certificate — he was born in Oszczow. Now I wonder if I’ll ever be able to find those records. The futility of these man-made borders and psychotic leaders driven by fear.

Reading period: 21/02/22–03/03/22

Why and how I chose this book: Passed to me by a friend. I wasn’t motivated to read it at first because I felt it would add to my existing echo chamber and teach me little I don’t already know. But trying to keep up my books my female authors, I launched into it as the only choice left in the house.

What stood out for me? “ O. Wilson argues that the profound effect of the great outdoors on humans is a result of our innate connection to the natural world. This hypothesis argues that humans have an ‘innate tendency to focus on life and lifelike processes’ because they have evolved alongside or even as part of nature” (p. 6). This is the ‘biophilia hypothesis’. Apparently it took some white western guys to invent some complicated language for the scientific community to consider what normal people have known for centuries. A 2016 study found that three quarters of UK children spend less time outdoors than prison inmates (p.275).

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I’m rather bored of white people talking about things like this. While the book does a good job at presenting (often scarce) evidence to support the benefits of being in nature, together with anecdotal and personal stories, I need some change in cultural perspective. I might keep the book for some good references and names to explore.

Reading period: 26/02/22 bedtime

Why and how I chose this book: My 5-year old niece bought it with her for bedtime stories.

What stood out for me? Michaela DePrince is a professional ballerina born in Sierra Leone, her parents were killed in the war and she was adopted into a US family when she was 4. She’d been inspired by a picture of a ballerina in a magazine and wanted to become like her — and she did!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I was glad my niece bought this book, a true story of a war orphan with a skin condition making her dreams come true through hard work and determination. The book was informative, interesting and heart-warming — a great bedtime story.

James and the Giant Peach, Roald Dahl & Quentin Black, 1st edition.

Reading period: 16/02/22–20/02/22

Why and how I chose this book: Know me and you know I love Roald Dahl, especially when paired with Quentin Blake’s illustrations. I bought this first edition copy in a local antique store for £6.50. I asked if I could have it cheaper and the answer was no.

What stood out for me? James’s parents were eaten at London Zoo by a rhinocerous. Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge are flattened by the giant peach. James ingeniously gets hundreds of sea gulls to pull the giant peach out of the ocean and the sharks fuming below. Cloud-men make rain and snow. The peach and its crew land in America to start a new life and each live their American dream.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? What a wonderful story, I love Roald Dahl’s creativity and the illustrations show so much in so few lines. Art!

Reading period: 11/01/22–17/02/22

Why and how I chose this book: Bryan recommended it and the title resonated with me.

What stood out for me? Co-dependent behaviours are so common in society, it is rare for people to have seen or experience being around co-commitment. Co-commitment involves taking 100% responsibility for yourself. In any relationship, each partner takes 100% responsibility, together you make 200%. Seven commitments:

  1. I commit myself to full closeness, and to clearing up anything within me that stands in the way.
  2. I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual.
  3. I commit to revealing myself fully in the relationship, not to concealing myself.
  4. I commit myself to the full empowerment of people around me.
  5. I commit myself to acting from the awareness that I am 100% the source of my reality.
  6. I commit myself to having a good time in my close relationships.
  7. Learning to love yourself and learning to live in a state of continuous positive energy.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? This books helps me name and recognise behaviours in myself and areas on which to work. There are practical exercises that I’m interested to try, even if they do feel silly, they can’t be sillier than watching TV. Yes I recommend it.

Reading period: 11/01/22–14/02/22

Why and how I chose this book: Found at a free little library in a former phone box at Horringer, Suffolk. Chosen to read to keep the number of female authors higher than males — a reading goal for 2022 already feeling like a real challenge by mid-February.

What stood out for me? Barry Fairbrother was a kind man who saw the best in people and encouraged Krystal Weedon (daughter of a heroine addict, trying to take care of her little brother Robbie) onto the rowing team. Relationships between teenagers and their parents are extremely difficult. Relationships between partners are often not like outsiders perceive them to be. Small towns in the UK are still often home to much racism.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Reading in parallel with “Conscious Loving”, I see all the characters exhibiting co-dependent behaviours, including not telling the truth, projecting their issues onto others, and repeating harmful relationship patterns. Co-dependency leads to tension and tension makes good storylines! J.K. Rowling is an incredible storyteller, worth analysing.

Reading period: 26/12/20–10/01/22

Why and how I chose this book: It’s been a long enough since I finished part 2 of the series which I’ve been reading in French so about time for the next installment.

What stood out for me? Harry is now in his third year at wizard school and there is a new old teacher called Lupin who teaches La Défenses contre les forces du Mal who is a changing character. A something teaches Divination and predicts that one of the students will no longer be with the class by Easter. Hermione later decides to drop this useless class. I decided to watch the first Harry Potter movie around the same time as finishing this book which confused me immensely. Ron’s rat is called Croûtard, google tells me it’s Scabbers in English. Harry doesn’t get his uncle’s permission to visit Pré-au-lard (Hogsmeade Village) but he gets given a map which shows secret passages there. Harry is more powerful than he first believes.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? At times I wasn’t understanding as much as I needed to — is it a word in French I don’t know or is it another made-up Harry Potter word? I enjoy refreshing my French and the fun story. J.K. Rowling’s writing, especially names, has similarities with Roald Dahl.

2021: 25 books finished, 8932 pages complete. 12 male, 12 female authors.

Reading period: 19/08/21–25/12/21

Why and how I chose this book: Researching my family history online quickly led me to the Association of Poles in India who have compiled and presented a wealth of resources and archive materials of the Polish people who spent wartime years and after in India.

What stood out for me? The first major organised refugee camps hosted white Europeans in India (and Africa). After being deported from their homes in Poland and living in labour camps in Soviet Russia, thousands of Polish people found refuge in camps in India (via transit camps in Tehran). After the horrors endured, life in India is depicted quite favourably, with young people trying to catch up on their education and learning skills and friendship through the scouting movement. The Poles celebrated together with the Indians on 15th August 1947.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? My great-grandmother, grandmother, great-aunt and great-uncle’s names are listed in the comprehensive list at the end of the book. I learned more details about their day-to-day existence and their transit to England. The journeys traveled by the Poles are mind-blowing, from their exile to India, and onto forge new lives in England, Kenya, Argentina, Australia, Canada, USA…. belonging everywhere and nowhere is in my genes.

Reading period: 04/11/21–20/12/21

Why and how I chose this book: My close friend put it into my hands.

What stood out for me? Generations of women’s lives, interweaving. Migration, integration, rejection, hard hard work. We cannot know each other’s stories without listening. I found myself empathising with all characters as I got to know their stories.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I recommend this book for learning about real lives in real England. I’ll lend it to my mum, see how she gets on with it, then may post it to friends overseas.

Reading period: 28/10/21–03/11/21

Why and how I chose this book: I read this at regular intervals. Since it arrived back in my hands after further international travels, I was looking forward to reading it out loud to my partner.

What stood out for me? My partner had a totally different perspective on this book; whereas I had seen a man who makes dreams come true, he’d seen sinister exploitative goings on.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I still loved reading it and it still makes me feel great. Reading it to my partner was a new experience. Of course I recommend it and it remains my favourite book in the world!

How Sustainable is Willy Wonka’s Factory?

An exposé on the social, environmental and legal concerns facing the world’s greatest chocolate maker

unganic2080.medium.com

Reading period: 26/10/21

Why and how I chose this book: Browsing a local antique-or-is-it-junk shop, I was delighted to find this book by Quentin Blake, whose illustrations I absolutely love.

What stood out for me? Aunt Gertrude lost her husband in the navy. During her terrible grief, she found a frog dancing on a lily pad. Taking care of the frog, he took care of her and they traveled the world together with him performing in shows.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? A sweet little story with lovely illustrations. After 1000 pages and three months of Don Quixote, it was lovely to read a quick children’s story. Perhaps I’ll invest in more of Quentin Blake’s art.

Reading period: 01/06/21–25/10/21

Why and how I chose this book: I saw it in the library van and thought, “this is a thick classic I’ve never read, I should try it”.

What stood out for me? Don Quixote chooses a life of adventure. Is he mad? Is he not mad? We all teeter between sanity and insanity. Characters play into Don Quixote’s fantasies to the level of seeming mad themselves. The first thing that Sancho Panza says to his wife after all this time away is “Shut up”. The appearance of a second set of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza is wonderfully confusing, reminding me of the reader’s willing suspension of disbelief.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I am delighted and proud to have finished. I read the entirety of this book out loud to my partner, mainly as bedtime reading with my partner. It has sealed the pleasure of reading together into our lives. I do recommend the classic though only when you’re ready to persevere!

Reading period: 20/08/21–14/10/21

Why and how I chose this book: Researching my Polish family history, Amazon recommended this after I searched for Poles in India 1942–1948. Reading the blurb made me feel that the story recounted may have lots of similarities with my own great-grandmother and grandmother’s stories. Since I am unable to ask them their stories, I chose to read someone else’s.

What stood out for me? Such harsh conditions in the Siberian labour camps, snow, beyond hard work. One day, Janina realised she’d forgotten her coat and would absolutely need it. She returned back to the barracks to get it and arrived 15-minutes late to work. Later, she was sent to court for this infraction and had to walk miles for a few days to attend. She was punished with a 25% or 50% (?) wage cut. Once the Poles were granted ‘amnesty’ aka Stalin switched sides in the war, the journeys were full of uncertainty and conditions not necessarily better than that endured in the camps. I try to imagine how Polish people felt arriving in India for the first time.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I feel I know a little more about my own family history. Since I know so little in the first place, a little is a lot. It has helped me with my family research which I am planning to present in a book. I recommend it to anyone with Polish heritage or interest in the complexities and madness of war — and motherhood.

Reading period: 20/09/21–30/09/21

Why and how I chose this book: Was put in the hands of my partner as we were going to Yorkshire, visiting Filey, Scarborough and enjoying a steam train gala!

What stood out for me? I cannot pronounce attempted Yorkshire dialect. Ship terminology is not pronounced as it is spelt. It was an easy read, rather heavy on dialogue for my liking. I hadn’t read a detective whodunnit story for a while.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I enjoyed reading the book out loud to my partner and was grateful to finish a book while we are still working our read-aloud way through the massive Don Quixote! I recommend this for a fun holiday read if you’re in Yorkshire.

Reading period: 15/05/21–06/09/21

Why and how I chose this book: I saw it in the library van. I read the first page of five books and chose to continue reading this one.

What stood out for me? Description of abuse.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I never really got into it and didn’t finish it.

Reading period: 09/06/21–22/06/21

Why and how I chose this book: I put out a call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers and chose the cheapest I could find on betterworldbooks.com

What stood out for me? Lady Slane gave up her life to be what the world wanted to be — subservient to her husband. The world gave her ‘the best that it could give her — all the things she didn’t want”. Young Lady Slane gave up pursuing her dream to be an artist. When her husband (Prime Minister Holland) dies, she decides to go and live the quiet life of her own choice, renting a house in Hampstead. FitzGeorge, a man she’d met over 50 years ago in India, visits her frequently, they enjoy each other’s company.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I read this book out loud to my partner as a bedtime story — its slow lulling tone sometimes soothed him to sleep, we were both comforted by not much happening. The story was told well, sometimes of Lady Slane’s reminiscing, the role of her loyal servant Genoux, and the curious characters who connected with Lady Slane in her very last years. Recommended.

Reading period: 01/06/21–08/06/21

Why and how I chose this book: I have a healthy curiosity about death and believe that while one can never be prepared for the loss of a loved one, we can at least attempt to educate ourselves on it — it’s not like we are the only ones who will go through it after all. I heard this book mentioned in a Tim Ferriss podcast. I also chatted with an end-of-life doula who recommended reading anything by Elisabeth Jubler Ross.

What stood out for me? Though they state five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance — there is no linearity or timeline. You don’t ‘get over’ a loss, you learn to live with it. Some people want to have sex immediately after a loss (perhaps they feel that they have lost all life, and sex represents life. Perhaps they feel they have lost all connection with the world, and sex reconnects) and some may not want it for a long time. There are as many different ways to go through grief as there are individuals and losses. Children’s logic in a grieving situation may lead to all sorts of confusions — it’s good to ask them, ‘do you have questions you’d like to ask about X dying?” Whatever someone grieving might choose to do or believe, we can ask them, “did it bring you comfort”.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I feel a little more knowledgable about this topic than before and I’m glad for that. I recommend it to everyone since we will all experience loss and educating oneself is our responsibility.

Reading period: 18/05/21–31/05/21

Why and how I chose this book: I put out a call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers and chose the cheapest I could find on betterworldbooks.com

What stood out for me? They lived above a pet shop in Yorkshire (?), the uncertainty of war was more exciting than the routines of daily life for some. A child died and there was a fire.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I quit reading on p. 242 out of 382. I’m glad I stopped as it was doing nothing for me. I failed to connect with this book. Too many characters and names to remember turns me off reading. The style of writing whole chapters called ‘footnotes’ simply disrupted my already confused reading experience.

Reading period: 07/05/21–17/05/21

Why and how I chose this book: Put it into my hands.

What stood out for me? Life! Life loves living and will do so if we just stop killing! Stop fucking killing! The current system is based upon profit-based-on-destruction. “Two-thirds of the land in the UK as a whole is owned by 0.36 per cent of the population (p. 174). The rest of us, that’s 24 million families, are squeezed into the ‘urban plot’ of just three million acres’. Shifting baseline syndrome is real and awful.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Can we consciously evolve out of a human psychology that is no longer serving us (short-termism and quick reactions to something being thrown at you, inadequate response to science-based slow emergency) in time to regenerate our beautiful planet home? Fuck yes! Of course! I can no longer work for any organisation, business, or institution whose primary goal is not aiming for systems change towards regeneration. Non-negotiable. Yes I recommend it, but don’t let book-reading serve as a proxy for taking action on every front.

Reading period: 13/03/21–05/09/21

Why and how I chose this book: It was on the shelf — an ocean classic, I thought I’d give it a go.

What stood out for me? Killing, short chapters, a series of which are titled Stubb kills a Whale, The Dart….Stubb’s Supper, The Whale as a Dish, The Shark Massacre… sometimes I found reading very uncomfortable. I imagine readers at the time loved the opportunity to learn about the adventures of a whaling ship. Some chapters felt like wikipedia entries providing great detail of the various operations taking place on w haling ship’s voyage, other chapters I imagined would be covered by a blogger today — but this book covers it all.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I’m glad I finally finished and persisted to the end! Despite considering giving up many times, I still wanted to know what happened to the Pequod and the white whale — you have to get all the way to chapter 133, or page 594, before the chase begins. After reading this, I feel a greater sense of grief that we live in a society based upon murder and destruction for human ‘gain’. I don’t recommend it.

Reading period: 26/04/21–04/05/21

Why and how I chose this book: I put out a call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers. Jessica Mitford has written about death, birth and prisons. Having recently read a little about death, I chose birth this time.

What stood out for me? Women in labour are not ‘patients’ — there is nothing wrong with (most of) them, they are going through a natural process. Through Western history, women caring for women giving birth have had a rough time, largely at the hands of men who thought they know better — midwives are not witches! From women being cuffed to the bed, forceps with force (he pushed his foot against the bed as he tried to pull the baby out), Queen Victoria’s love of chloroform, this book gives a brief and engaging history of the medicalisation of giving birth.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Since it was written over 30 years ago, I wondered what has changed since then. The World Health Organization suggests an ideal cesarean section rate of 10–15%. That doesn’t mean that hospitals should be aiming for a particular rate, of course, they should be dealing with individuals as individuals. Rather, “when the rate goes above 10%, there is no evidence that mortality rates improve”. Looking at the rates of cesarean sections in OECD countries, Turkey, Korea and Poland have the highest rates, (55%, 45%, and 39% respectively). USA is in 5th place with 32% and the UK comes in at 29%. Down at the bottom of the list are Israel, Norway, and Iceland, each with rates around 15%. I am shocked to discover these statistics. Sounds like the most common reason for C-section is that the doctor wants to go for lunch or finish up work before the holidays. Makes me want to learn more about trends of home-birthing in the UK.

Reading period: 11/04/21–25/04/21

Why and how I chose this book: I broke my Harry Potter virginity back in 2019 listening to ‘Harry Potter à l’École des Sorciers’ audiobook. Seeing an easy opportunity to up my female author count, it felt a good time to continue with part II of the series with some good fun French practice too.

What stood out for me? Harry really does suffer in life with the Dursleys and can’t wait to get back to school. The flying car which seems to have a soul of its own. I had to google translate limaces (slugs) to learn what Ron was burping up thanks to his faulty magic wand. In the penultimate chapter, what was the English version of “Je suis Voldemort” being an anagram of “Tom Elvis Jedusor”? Fiction allows all sorts of complex dilemmas to be wrapped up simultaneously for a quick party ending.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? Reading books for younger people in a foreign language is a good way to boost my confidence! My French language level is probably around pre-pubescent. I’m glad I have the next French Harry Potter lined up, but need a break first.

Bookmark demonstrates diverse reading.

Reading period: 08/04/21–21/04/21

Why and how I chose this book: A re-read, I’m not sure I ever finished it before. I originally learnt about Schumacher via Schumacher Briefings, and made the dream come true of learning at Schumacher College in 2020. My brother recently reminded me of one if Schumacher’s messages being ‘education is our greatest resource’ and he kindly shipped a new used copy into my hands.

What stood out for me? That this book was written half a century ago and so many of its messages are the same today. “The key factor of all economic development comes out of the mind of man”. “Eduction can help us only if it produces ‘whole men’.”

The problems of education are merely reflections of the deepest problems of our age. They cannot be solved by organisation, administration, or the expenditure of money, even though the importance of all these is not denied. We are suffering from a metaphysical disease, and the cure must therefore be metaphysical. Education which fails to clarify our central convictions is mere training or indulgence. For it is our central convictions that are in disorder, and, as long as the present anti-metaphysical temper persists, the disorder will grow worse. Education, far from ranking as man’s greatest resource, will then be an agent of destruction, in accordance with the principle corruptio optimi pessima [the corruption of the best is the worst]

The chance of mitigating the rate of resource depletion or of bringing harmony into the relationships between those in possession of wealth and power and those without is non-existent as long as there is no idea anywhere of enough being good and more-than-enough being of evil.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I feel both inspired and disheartened that these urgent messages are still seemingly not acted upon at global scale. It has informed my thinking though I doubt changed it — maybe I should read more out of the echo chamber. It’s not the easiest of reads and some outdated expositories might frustrate some.

Reading period: 18/03/21–25/03/21

Why and how I chose this book: I put out a call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers. I searched for Margaret Atwood on betterworldbooks.com and chose the cheap one.

What stood out for me? The character David is so repulsive, certain aspects of his character remind me of my ex. The main character helps us feel sorry for these ‘half-formed’ beings. Thinning carrots is important. Dead heron hanging. Escape by canoe. Nature teaches and may heal. Cities smell.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
I was a little impatient at the start but got into it soon enough. Margaret Atwood reminds me of what writers can do, the journey we can take our readers on, and have them put their trust in us. Tread carefully boldly.

Reading period: 16/03/21–17/03/21

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novice-Story-True-Love/dp/0062005847/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=thich+nhat+hanh+the+novice&qid=1616063352&sr=8-2

Why and how I chose this book: I’ve heard the name Thich Nhat Hanh for some time. Last year a colleague revived the name onto my radar. Thinking that I might need some cognitive knowledge to develop my meditation practice, I chose this book expecting a series of teachings.

What stood out for me? Turns out this a delightful re-telling of a traditional Vietnamese folk tale. Kinh Tam is so devoted to the monastic practice that she disguises herself as a male and lives through many hardships to continue doing so. She embodies true compassion.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? A lovely little book, can it remind me to be more compassionate firstly with myself? Beautiful front cover image.

Reading period: 14/03/21–15/03/21

Why and how I chose this book: My call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers reminded me how much I enjoyed Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. I searched on betterworldbooks.com and chose this cheap one.

What stood out for me? Most of the book is written using pronouns “we, our, ours” and “they, them, their” since the population are brought collectively. I wondered if this inspired 21st century gender pronoun choice(s). Ayn Rand is a powerful writer and writes in favour of the self. Just today, my Facebook feed critiqued this view, saying humans are the only species who distinguish themselves with “I”, or ‘ego’ (the original title of the book).

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I’m disappointed the book finished halfway through the pages (the second half is a reproduction of the edits Ayn did between the UK and US editions by facsimile). I believe that humans are part of nature. Ayn Rand helps me reach out of the confirmation bias echo chamber I live in and I love it. I absolutely recommend this book and plan to keep on reading more of her work.

Reading period: 06/03/21–12/03/21

Why and how I chose this book: Lent to me by a friend after some shared winter swims in the North sea.

What stood out for me? Three pillars of the method: breathe motherfucker, get in the cold, change your mindset. Well done Wim, you got your message across. Seeing that this book is on the amazon bestseller list in Fitness proves you don’t have to be a decent writer. Great message, bad writing. The message can be distilled into one very powerful article, but instead Wim chose to repeat, repeat, go all out and sell his book. I’ve enjoyed some cold showers and some cold sea swims. Discipline is discipline — it makes sense if it makes you feel awesome. He was outside in the night in the cold as a boy. He can do the splits and handstands, so can I, and I’m getting better at them!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? I do feel encouraged and with another reminder to trust that I have everything I need within me. I live quite connected to my body but I know that I have not myself fully go. Perhaps daily cold water could help, but the cold shower seems to be warming up after a moment or two, and the sea is a little too far away right now. I know I want to be living near natural water and I am reminded how right I was to choose an ocean-front apartment in Japan and Micronesia. I am a fish. I need water.

  • Hilary Mantel — Wolf Hall (2009) 168 of 650 pages
    I gave up. I added the page count to the year’s total but didn’t add to the book nor author count.

Reading period: 27/02/21–07/05/21

Why and how I chose this book: I put out a call on Facebook for recommendations for female writers. I searched for Hilary Mantel on betterworldbooks.com and chose this one, the first in a trilogy.

What stood out for me? This book started with a list of characters and a family tree — a bad omen for me since I don’t like books where I can’t follow who is who. Thomas Wolsey was the cardinal of the Catholic church. He was born in Ipswich, Suffolk — my hometown. There is a theatre named after him and his statue is sitting outside my friend’s restaurant. Here my interest started and ended.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
I gave up about 25% through. I felt I was reading the Tudor gossip tabloids. Just because it’s in a different century, doesn’t make it any more interesting to me. Disappointed.

Reading period: 17/02/21–26/02/21

Why and how I chose this book: Recommended as a result of another education-book search on betterworldbooks.com — it was only about £2 and the title piqued my curiosity.

What stood out for me? Six figure debt is common for US students. Time and time again I have read about the insane costs of US studies — each time I feel shocked, devastated, and angry. Though the primary purpose of higher education is education, many institutions have drifted focuses and campuses now appear like resorts. Many of the luxury-brand universities focus heavily on research and care less about teaching. Much teaching is done by adjunct professors and part-timers — in some cases, an undergraduate course is led by undergraduates who took that course last year. The authors recommend scrapping the tenure system with its guarantee of life-time employment, sabbaticals and few teaching obligations. I was inspired to know there are some college Presidents who donate their salaries back to the college or student scholarships. High salaried administrative roles are on the rise while numbers of full-time faculty are decreasing. I have seen this too in job adverts in UK education institutions.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
If my institution is looking at cutting staff, I will do my best to make sure the administrative structure and roles are heavily scrutinised and assessed before teaching positions are even looked at. I recommend giving this book to parents who think luxury-brand schools make sense.

Reading period: 20/11/20–23/02/21

Why and how I chose this book: I’d seen Christiana Figueres, the lead negotiator of the Paris agreement, speak in Japan. I was blown away and inspired by what she was able to achieve. Recently I heard a couple of episodes of her podcast, “Outrage and Optimism” which reminded me that I hadn’t read the book, which I believe is required reading for people interested in the ecological emergency.

What stood out for me? You can make a difference. In fact, it’s the only choice we have! Every small action we take now to avert this crisis will loom large in the future. “Now is the time for us to thank fossil fuels, retire them, and move on”. Build resilience to nostalgia — nostalgia can distract us from the work ahead. We need to look to the future and set our sights on what we can create. Imagination. Vision. Make a time-bound ambitious plan to get to net-zero. Plant trees. Engage in politics.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
Glad to have some concrete actions to follow. I’d already planned on planting trees this year and now I want to plant more. Understanding very little about the community I find myself living in is a good opportunity to learn how politics works here. Read this book.

Reading period: 15/02/21–18/02/20

Why and how I chose this book: Listening to Freakonomics radio book club podcast episode “How to be Better at Death”, I thought some of the insights from this progressive mortician might be valuable to life. I do not shy away from death and try to educate myself about this inevitability. This book sounded like an anthropology-inspired learning journey of death around the world. It was the cheapest book I could find by the author, who also wrote “Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?”

What stood out for me? Despite it being the one thing that happens to all of us, death remains utterly taboo in many modern Western cultures, with grief and emotion often being hidden from the public with fear and shame. It wasn’t so long ago that the responsibility of deathcare rested with the families of the deceased. Natural burials are becoming increasingly popular, perhaps with the growing eco-consciousness in our ways of living and dying. An experiment in North Carolina “recomposition” aims to reduce the composting time of corpses through entirely natural processes to about 4–6 weeks — they’re not there yet but they are working on it. In some cultures, living with the dead bodies is customary, for months or even years sometimes. Other places revisit, dig up, or take another look at their deceased — truly spending time with the dead, even years later. Burying a dead body in your back garden may decrease property value.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
I recommend this book. Her humour helps navigate through some heavy topics. Being enlightened to the many different ways of deathcare might help you think and talk about your own death choices, or those of your loved ones. I don’t plan to suffer unnecessarily due to ignorance or taboos around death, so I will continue to educate myself.

Reading period: 10/01/21–14/02/21

Why and how I chose this book: I loved Sapiens and felt ready for the next instalment. Also I brainstorm in 21s so the title resonated well with me.

What stood out for me? The next time a politician asks you to vote for them, ask them their plans on dealing with the ecological emergency, disruption of AI and biotech, and preventing nuclear war. Artificial Intelligence is moving forwards at a rate many people are unaware of and it is going to change all aspects of our lives. If we do not practise ways of getting to know oneself now, it may become ever harder to do so — algorithms will beat us to it. Education can be key to resilience, but not the system we currently have. Some are already advocating for the 4 Cs: critical thinking, communication, collaboration, creativity. The economic system pressures me to expand and diversify my investment portfolio, but it gives me zero incentives to expand and diversify my compassion. So I strive to understand the mysteries of the stock exchange, while making far less effort to understand the deep causes of suffering.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
Awesome. Informed. Inspired. Motivated. So many avenues to explore, his writing deeply influences my thinking.

Reading period: 07/02/21–11/02/21

Why and how I chose this book: A Christmas gift from an awesome friend!

What stood out for me? This tells the story from the very inner perspective of a young lady living in Melbourne. The main character is autistic, as is the author. Seeing from this perspective makes me wonder why autism gets a bad rap when it seems like heightened authenticity to me. Jumping into this book straight from the previous read was quite a leap in tone and content and first I found it frustrating. I wasn’t sure if I’d finish the book. While the character is at a party the dialogue is presented very realistically, which reminds me how much filler and fluff the English spoken language contains. My eyes danced across some dialogues which seemed superfluous, but perhaps that was the author’s intention. Some chapters are one page long — I find this rhythm too stacatto for reading flow.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I loved the beautiful ending, which has a big impact on the reader’s lasting impression of a book. One chapter/one page too many. It makes me think about authenticity and society’s simple labels for complex things. I neither recommend nor don’t — if it speaks to you, go for it.

Reading period: 28/12/20–06/02/21

Why and how I chose this book: Recommended by my co-adventurer. I have only once see him read a book not about boats or being at sea.

What stood out for me?

Captain Fitzroy famously led The Beagle’s voyage surveying Tierra del Fuego with a natural philosopher named Charles Darwin. Using his own funds, Captain Fitzroy upgraded The Beagle which saved the vessel and the lives of its crew. During the 5-year voyage, he committed himself to the highest moral and professional standards, and bought a (whaling?) boat to ensure completion of the surveys in sufficient detail. Darwin’s evolving theory was at odds with both his own and Fitzroy’s religious conviction. When Fitzroy returned to England, he was thanked for his service by getting fired from captaining boats. Darwin’s Origin of Species was published over 20 years after the end of the voyage — important research takes a long time, especially while having kids. At death, Fitzroy was completely bankrupt having expended his entire fortune (equivalent to about $400,000 in early 21st century standards) “on subsidizing the public purse for the benefit of others”. Fitzroy pioneered storm-warning and weather forecasts, which at the time were poo-poohed (especially by fishing-fleet owners) as akin to astrology. The author of this book found Fitzroy’s “Narrative of the Voyage of the HMS Beagle” with its pages uncut in Oxford’s Bodleian library “nobody had bothered to read them in 165 years”.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

The world is full of unsung heroes. Contribution to the advancement of knowledge is not easy, takes time, is often self-funded, and may go unthanked for decades or forever. I recommend this long read with patience.

2020: 6 books of which 1684 pages read

Incomplete record from memory in early 2021. Pandemic threw me off and I was largely unable to read from March until about August

Reading period: December I think

Why and how I chose this book:

When I started reading another recommendation about all-men racing around the world, I said “Do you have any books about women at sea?”

What stood out for me?
Careful planning. Determination. Teamwork. Excellent planning and good decision-making tends not to make great stories. Compare Ellen to those who sail or drift out to sea with poor planning — some do or do not survive. I wonder what Ellen did about her periods while she was on-board during this gruelling race against time.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
I recommend this because it highlights a formidable woman at sea. Still almost all the books, magazines and movies focus on men.

Reading period — July-October

Why and how I chose this book:
At a friend’s house nosing at her bookshelf, I spotted the title and pulled it out thinking “This is for me”. I wasn’t sure whether I should ask to borrow it. “Would you like to borrow it?” she offered, “Yes please!”

What stood out for me?
Ways to move from “I’m not enough”, to “I’ve had enough” to “I am enough”. The author provides practice exercises to help along the journey — I thought about compiling these into one document as I sped through the reading without much practical application.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
Yes I recommend it — I gave it to my mum to try and she didn’t understand why. She doesn’t believe that affirmations work — I don’t think she’s tried either. I find myself recounting “I am enough” sometimes, sometimes I sing “I love me” while cycling through the countryside.

Reading period: September

Why and how I chose this book:
On the reading list for the course: Co-Creating the Emerging Future — the Schumacher Certificate in Leadership and Facilitation. It was cheap on Betterworldbooks.com

What stood out for me?
Theory U, surrendering control. I have much to learn.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
Absolutely recommend and I need to revisit and take notes!

Reading period: August

Why and how I chose this book:
Recommended by my socially distanced date.

What stood out for me?
People get lost at sea when they make poor decisions — like going out with a new fishing buddy in a storm. Survival is a life-choice made possible with luck. It’s possible to catch fish with your bare hands. Is the reason my dad never decided to come see me because he only got as far as Beccles (50km from my hometown)? If my dad had got lost at sea and drifted from Mexico to the Marshall Islands, might he too have realised the value in paying a visit?

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
I’m yet to find a story of a woman adrift at sea. Is that because we make better decisions?

Why and how I chose this book: Lauded by both Tim Ferriss and Elizabeth Gilbert, (author of Eat, Pray, Love) in their podcast interview.

What stood out for me? I opened the book and a poem flew into my head immediately — a rhyming call out for other people to join me on this 12-week process. Five “playmates” joined me on the journey.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it? The practise of morning pages has been extremely valuable to me. Likewise, the artist’s date, but carving time just to have fun with myself is so much more difficult than I could ever have imagined. An excellent work-through resource. My artist’s dates included drawing myself nude (I really can’t draw) and leaving a bar of chocolate out for a passer-by to find in front of Noah’s ark: video-evidence here. This book really helped me introduce play back in my life and notice its deep importance.

Reading period: February, before the pandemic was a pandemic

Why and how I chose this book:
After learning a little about British Overseas Territories from a Couchsurfer in December 2019, I felt I really needed to learn a little more about England’s colonial history.

What stood out for me?
British colonialism started with pirates, then sanctioned by the royal family.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?
Didn’t finish. Have forgotten most of it. Hasn’t changed my life.

2019: 17 books & one report logged of which 4592 pages complete

Reading period: 27/07/19–

Why and how I chose this book:

The first Harry Potter book was published in 1997 while I was a high school student. The last Harry Potter movie was released in 2011. I have given tours to English language students to Oxford University colleges where parts of the movies were filmed, seen platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross station in London with friends, and played Quidditch in Tokyo with Edo Quidditch club. Yet I had never seen or read a single Harry Potter novel.

It’s now approaching a decade since I last lived in France so I decided to pop the Harry Potter cherry while eroding my French language rust by listening to the Audiobook.

What stood out for me?

Reading period: 15/08/19–30/08/19

Why and how I chose this book:

In the book stack donated by my friend upon my request for cosmic existentialist horror. Felt like reading humorous fiction at the time.

What stood out for me?

Despite feeling underwhelmed early on (it felt childish) I continued. This book is full of zombie-like spiders and wild imagination. As I got into it I found myself chuckling more and more and laughed out loud with the world-saving arrangement of humans in the shape of a penis to demonstrate to pilots above that the crowd below were not zombies.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I screamed when I thought a large spider scuttled into my room. Then I realised it was a crab. Having cats or rats in the roof of my hotel accommodation while reading didn’t help. I wondered if I should avoid reading horror at bedtime-but with its humour, this one was fine. If you don’t like gore, do not read — lots of blood and guts and the kind of scenes I wonder if anyone could successfully create a film adaptation.

Listening period: 18/08/19–22/08/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Recommended by a Somatica intimacy coach on my journey learning about relationships and intimacy, I saw the title and said “That’s the book for me!” I was told the author is 92 or so and still facilitating masturbation workshops. Yes, turns out masturbation workshops exist. Thank you Betty.

What stood out for me?

Masturbation is a taboo topic. Betty Dodson explodes the topic, demystifies it with humour, love, and decades of experimentation. She even led a masturbation workshop for men. Sex for one is often posited as an inferior substitute for sexual intercourse but Betty argues that we can have fulfilling, adventurous intimate relations alone. This can be out of necessity, choice and supplementary to relations with another. She is also in favour of the word cunt! Go Betty!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Excited, liberated and like a whole new world opened. This book massively intensified my hot love affair with myself. I absolutely recommend it to all! I want to give it to my mum and my sister and all my friends and the whole world for Christmas! Read this book whatever your gender, your relationship status and wherever you are with your intimate identity. A great fun humorous treasure trove of learning about a topic so central.

Reading period: 14/07/19–13/08/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Recommended to me by a Somatica intimacy coach as a useful learning resource.

What stood out for me?

I am normal! Genitals are composed of the same parts arranged differently. We all have our own garden but we didn’t choose its beginnings — these were established from birth through our childhood, our family, and the cultures that surround us. As we grow up and with sensible education, awareness, experimentation and reflection, we can learn what we want to keep in our garden and what we want to throw out. On average, female genital response is about 30% in accordance with mental arousal whereas for men the average is around 50% — of course there is a wide variation around this figure for all genders. Context is of crucial importance. There are two systems, the accelerator and brakes: no matter how hard you hit the accelerator, you won’t get far if the brakes are on so turn off the offs and turn on the ons . To maximize pleasure, turn off the offs and prolong the turning on of the turn ons!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I feel less ashamed of myself, my body, my history. I feel less a freak and less alone! This book has played a pivotal role in my learning about intimacy, connection, and relationships. Once again, I feel both astounded and disappointed that it took me 34 years of life before learning some of the facts in this book. That sex and intimacy is considered such a taboo topic in society is absurd and dangerous. I cannot recommend this book enough — it should be on the required reading list for vital health education of teenagers and all who suspect they lack education in this field.

Reading period: 22/06/19 —18/07/19

Why and how I chose this book:

My interest in sustainable education led me to the publication Resurgence which Kumar edits. He also founded the Schumacher College which I’ll attend one day, perhaps to do an MA in Ecological Design Thinking. In 1973–4, Kumar walked 8000 miles from New Delhi to Moscow, Paris, London and Washington DC to bring a message of peace to the people with fingers near nuclear war buttons. I ordered the paper copy.

What stood out for me?

Science without spiritualism is ……. Spiritualism without science is …… Richard Dawkins told Kumar he doesn’t believe in spiritualism — Kumar replied “Do you believe in breathing?”, since the spirit comes from the Latin root spirare, to breathe. Kumar also noted that the dominant educational model focuses on measuring outcomes though so much of life cannot be measured — my central question is can it, should it and how can we cope with that in our learning systems?

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I feel revitalized, inspired and I want to re-read it immediately! I want to send this book to everyone I know and love, the world! I am also now planning to sign up to Fritjof Capra’s Capra Course to learn more about systems thinking and how to apply it in my life and work.

Reading period: 04/07/19–09/07/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Tim Ferris recently interviewed Neil Gaiman. I’d also learnt that Neil Gaiman is married to Amanda Fucking Palmer. Terry Pratchett has long been on the radar though I don’t recall reading him. Now I realise I’d negatively associated fantasy with too many names, characters and fairies, and sci-fi with the stretchy suits and rumpled foreheads of Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was begrudging viewing for me on our 4-channel black and white TV growing up. After a few days of being sick, my friend asks How are you feeling? Introspective and possibly depressed, or you wanna laugh? I want to laugh, she says read Good Omens.

What stood out for me?

I did laugh… out loud, full-heartedly, that would disturb others in dormitories or planes. I also heard that a Christian group formally complained against the televised series and sent it to the wrong network! This made me laugh even more and reminded me of my mum’s description of Monty Python’s early reception.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I felt light, humorous and delighted to have had such a fun reading experience! I was reminded to not take myself things too seriously and now I want to read more for laughter. Yes and I forgive myself for my past judgemental self for not giving Terry Pratchett a chance — my loss!

Listening period: 14/06/19–18/06/19

Why and how I chose this book:

While trying to cancel my Audible subscription before getting charged, it pointed out that I had one credit left which would disappear upon cancellation. So I let Amazon/Audible do it’s thing and accepted its recommendation.

What stood out for me?

The four agreements are: Be impeccable with your word (reminder of the power or words), Don’t take anything personally (I am not my thoughts, if someone judges me it is a reflection of their character not mine), Don’t make assumptions, and Always do your best (your best will vary wildly — as I have learnt from interval training, when swimming at 100% effort is much slower after 20 minutes swim than 100% effort after just 10 minutes).

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

The woo-woo stuff at the beginning almost put me off entirely but once I got to the agreements I felt it was logical important information. It’s a nice short reminder book, I just ignore its references to Toltec wisdom because that didn’t add anything to my experience of the book’s message. Worth the quick read.

Reading period: 14/06/19–20/06/19

Why and how I chose this book:

When I’m unsure of what to read, I randomly return to something that’s on my Kindle. Having been reading in the sphere of relationships, I returned to Perel’s Mating in Captivity in which she quoted from Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies. While considering buying this, Amazon did it’s thing and recommended me Passionista which I decided to buy instead. Recently becoming more aware of how I feel inept at communicating about intimacy, I thought that reading more on these topics was a good place to start addressing these fears.

What stood out for me?

That corona is not only the name of a beer served with lime, but also a part of the penis. The song is not about corona but My Sharona — a limerick lies waiting to be written. I guess the main message was that a woman should know about and take control of her pleasure. Communication is key. There are three different types of erection (brain, body, night) and while men can’t have multiple orgasms, they can have a whole-body orgasm which sounds better to me than just a penis one.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

More exposed to reading and writing about these things, perhaps it serves me as a baby step on my journey. I recommend it to women who are feeling strong enough to overcome shameful associations with intimacy. Exposure through reading is a safe way to learn and reflect upon personal experience.

Listening period: 15/05/19–10/06/19

Why and how I chose this book:

A friend posted Elizabeth Dialto’s podcast interview with author Ken Page on a Facebook group I’m in. Being single and feeling I know nothing about dating, I decided to use my Audible 30-day free trial to get this book for free and see how I feel listening to audio books instead of reading text.

What stood out for me?

The important distinction between an attraction of inspiration and an attraction of deprivation — this was discussed in the podcast and immediately resonated with me and my relationship history! I did most of the exercises in the book, which help you get to know more about what the author describes as your gifts. An audio book with exercises is kind of tricky because I didn’t know how to return to an interesting point without simply rewinding and trying to find what I was looking for — I needed to make notes and transcribe some of the questions. I think the materials may be available online but I didn’t explore before listening and wanted to get to work right away.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

At one point, listening to this American voice that sounded like therapy, I thought, “This is what I’ve become!”, I felt ashamed. However, that’s my own issue and some of the notes I made in the exercises revealed important truths. As a lover of learning, why should I feel ashamed learning about this hugely important aspect of life? If you are dating, I recommend reading the book. Note — after the free 30-day trial, Audible subscription is around $15 a month. Cancel before getting charged and they offer you a 3-month period at half price. I accepted so I can continue figuring out if audio books are for me. Smart offer, Amazon. Note — downloaded audiobooks are good for airplanes though you will lose your place if you fall asleep.

Reading period: 29/04/19–24/05/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Asking a relatively new friend his reading preferences, he stated cosmic existentialist horror. New to this conjunction of adjectives and nouns my curiosity was sparked and I asked another friend who seemed like the kind of person who may also know about this if she had any on her shelf. She brought a stack around and highly recommended The Gone World and told me she was looking forward to being able to discuss this novel with someone.

What stood out for me?

The Gone World follows a time traveling criminal investigation into the murder of a family and a disappeared teenage daughter. Shannon Moss ventures to and from various possible futures seeking clues. In these futures, Shannon’s death (or departure) would mean the end of that world. A major part of the story is the impending end of the world, the Terminus, which features in all possible futures, with a date increasingly approaching the present. Shannon has a prosthetic leg.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

The front cover blurb states “I promise you have never read a story like this” and this was true! I relished the reading experience and philosophised back to the idea that all time already exists and it is an illusion of our existence that time seems linear. No movie adaptation would be able to do the detail of this novel justice.

Reading period: 16/05/19–28/04/19

Why and how I chose this book:

From my friend’s bookshelf of all-TIME 100 Best Novels 1923–2005, trying to beef up my reading of female authors and interested in the colonial context.

What stood out for me?

That I was very bored reading and contemplated giving up. I wasn’t sure why I kept going to the end. At the end I remembered the book blurb and thought “that makes sense”, and that was that.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Relieved to be able to start a new book. Perhaps I can make a rule for when to give up a boring book. No recommendation from me, but no evidence exists that I am a literary critic!

Reading period: 01/04/19–15/04/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Chosen from my friend’s bookshelf of all-TIME 100 Best Novels 1923–2005, I’d also seen it on a “top sensual fiction” list. I was familiar with the title and author’s name with no idea of the content.

What stood out for me?

BOOM! WOW! KERPOW! Words woven in perfect harmony — Nabokov I want to study your wordcraft: dissect, inspect, reformulate, rebuild and reread! You join Ernest Hemingway in the league of godly writers whose pure craft puts writers in their place. I will read again with a dictionary — while I am unfamiliar with much of the vocabulary, I never felt belittled or frustrated. What an art — to present a terror of a character with whom the reader identifies and even feels compassion for. Joyriding reading!

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Exuberant! Love! Confused! Like I just experienced an Olympic gymnast performing (naked?!) after years of persistent precision training — I am in absolute awe and admiration. More Nabokov please!

Re-Reading period: 01/04/2019–13/04/19

Why and how I chose this book:

I re-read The Alchemist regularly. Scanning for the quote to write into my Things Fall Apart reading log (below) , I realised I’d already started re-reading, so continued. I like Kindle reading before sleeping because I can turn the room lights off — so I read this in parallel to Lolita (above) paperback which required my bedside lamp.

What stood out for me?

When you are on your personal legend, the whole universe conspires to bring it about. Why fear death tomorrow? Death tomorrow is as good as any other day. Every day is a gift. Nature reveals all to those who stop to listen and observe.

Why did the author write this book?

Because he had to. I’ll remove this question from my reading log template…thanks Nabokov?

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Re-reading The Alchemist re-energizes my soul and reminds to cultivate courage, patience and love.

Reading period: 24/03/2019–31/03/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Perusing my friend’s candy-store bookshelf (he’s been reading through the all-TIME 100 Best Novels 1923–2005) I chose this book because I enjoy learning about other cultures through their arts and it would increase my non-white authors’ representation in my reading.

What stood out for me?

I stood back and reflected on how much I learnt from reading the author’s name, the book title and the opening sentence “Okonkwo was well known throughout the nine villages and even beyond.” I was reminded how grateful I am to writers who are kind to their readers — like Coelho states in the Alchemist “If he ever wrote a book, he thought, he would present one person at a time, so that the reader wouldn’t have to worry about memorizing a lot of names” (contrast to my experiences reading Lord of the Rings, Housekeeping (below) and attempted Game of Thrones). The power of storytelling through one person’s perspective — we are led to connect with them even if we don’t agree with all of their ways.

Why did the author write this book?

Colonialism presented from colonised perspectives?

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

The story brought to mind the colonial history of Micronesia — “religion and education go hand in hand from the start”. The final line, “The Pacification of the Primitive Tribes of the Lower Niger” reminds me of the guilty conscience at the root of social anthropology. How important art is — people telling their own stories.

Reading period: February 2019

Why and how I chose this book:

Chosen from all-TIME 100 Best Novels 1923–2005 to increase female authors’ representation in my reading.

What stood out for me?

While the grammar of the first sentence “My name is Ruth” is identical in structure to the Alchemist’s “The boy’s name was Santiago”, I felt I learnt nothing about Ruth. Does this mean I am attracted by the foreignness of Santiago, bored by the biblical associations of Ruth or just have inconsistent interpretations? The first pages lay out a family tree of Ruth — by page 14 I was already confused who was who and frustratedly flipped back pages to cross-reference.

Why did the author write this book?

I don’t care.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Bored. No recommend.

Reading period: 10/01/2019–27/03/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Soon after starting my new job, the President of the College of Micronesia-FSM handed me this report saying it contained lots of useful information.

What stood out for me?

“According to officials from the US Department of Education, the college will remain eligible after 2023 to receive Pell grants that benefit its students as long as such grants are available to institutions and students in the United States” (p. 60). Most people I’ve spoken to in the College agree that without Pell grants, the College will be unable to function.

Why did the author write this book?

In 2003 the US approved the amended compacts of free association with the FSM and RMI and is providing economic assistance through 2023 with access to various US programs and services. Grants and funding are decreasing annually with the decrease added as contributions to the compact trust funds, intended to provide a source of funding after 2023. GAO had previously found that the trust funds may not provide a sustainable income and were asked to review the preparations for the 2023 transitions.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

A single sentence in this report is not strong enough foundation on which the College of Micronesia-FSM can lay its upon. Hope is not a strategy — what are our alternative scenario plans? With colleagues and other stakeholders, I will continue to explore questions raised in this report as part of my strategic planning responsibilities.

Reading period: 14/03/19–22/03/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Required reading for the WASC Assessment Leadership Academy — I am a participant in cohort 10 with our first workshops scheduled in California in June 2019.

What stood out for me?

Assessment can be rebranded as improving our craft or improving what we do — an ongoing process to monitor and improve student learning — a framework for focusing faculty attention on student learning and for provoking meaningful discussions on program objectives, curricular organisation, pedagogy and student development.

Why did the author write this book?

Allen wanted to provide realistic, programmatic support to busy professionals who want to develop or improve the assessment of their academic programs.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Happy to finish — I made audio recordings as an experimental alternative to writing notes. This totals 20 minutes which I can relisten to — still I feel the need for written notes for ease and consistency of future referencing. This is a useful foundational book as I learn the craft of assessment.

Reading period: 13/02/19–23/02/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Listening to Tim Ferriss interview Greg McKeown while working out in my office, I felt there was so much important information that I listened twice. As soon as I finished the book I’d been reading, I jumped into this one.

What stood out for me?

This diagram presents the main message of Essentialism. I shared the diagram with my colleague who responded “That’s me!”

Making sure you are working on your highest contribution to society is the most important thing — anything less and you are doing a disservice to yourself. The essentialist takes a longer time exploring the various options before setting out — understanding that once committed, they will be progressing in one direction. While others may leap from the starting blocks quicker, they could well be running in all directions at once. When it comes to hiring people for your team, hire the absolute best, conduct a rigorous talent search, wait wait wait… it’s better to have no one than the wrong person.

Extract from poem “Do Less Be More” https://medium.com/@unganic2080/do-less-be-more-5092b4233d54

You cannot protect your time to work on what is essential if you don’t know what your essential is. What is essential will change over time — know your changing self and act accordingly, course-correcting when necessary. Refine clarify reflect.

Here are some chapter titles whose message I found particularly pertinent. Applying essentialist principles, I painfully whittled down the list to … one

· Edit: The Invisible Art

Why did the author write this book?

McKeown wrote this book to help people understand essentialism — what it is, why it is important and practical steps you can take to lead an essentialist life.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Essentialism has already positively impacted my life, the routines I am creating as I carve my new life in Pohnpei working at the College of Micronesia-FSM.

Our department’s essential contribution

Now I like to remind myself that the ideal number of items on a list is one; I focus first on subtraction before considering any addition. I am trying to set up the processes so that execution becomes effortless, with failure built into the system. Saying no to good opportunities is crucial as I work to create the enabling environments and space for great opportunities to come along.

Where am I going? Consider my great-grandma’s contribution to my life — what do I thank her for? Consider inter-generationality; I will die — what will three generations beyond me thank me for?

Reading period: 22/01/19–05/02/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Francis X. Hezel, SJ is a Jesuit priest who has written and published on the Federated States of Micronesia (FSM) for nearly half a century. I saw his books advertised in the College of Micronesia-FSM’s 25th Anniversary publication and thought Making Sense of Micronesia might equip me to better navigate my new life on Pohnpei island.

What stood out for me?

Hezel discusses the importance of identifying oneself within the island who’s who. In small island culture, everyone is related to everybody somehow — whether through marriage, work relations, or daily interactions. Western ideals of equality can clash with existing status hierarchies. For example, in the case of a high-status chief being imprisoned, prison guards may feel obliged to favour him with extra food, visitors, and perhaps a TV.

Also covered in this book is nightcrawling which I’d repeatedly been warned of before choosing an apartment. Nightcrawling is when a guy appears at your apartment door — or in your bedroom — seeking sexy times. On a small island with no privacy where dating was unacceptable, nightcrawling was a way for two people to get to know each other out of wedlock, under cover of darkness when the rest of the family in the house should be asleep.

Why did the author write this book?

Hezel wanted to explain islander behaviours to foreigners who are in contact with Micronesians. Introducing each chapter with a story to illuminate the theme, he tries to ground these behaviours in the long-standing attitudes and value-systems of life on the small islands in Micronesia.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

From the Western gaze it is easy to be blind to the subtle workings and benefits of Micronesian ways. In imposing foreign language and structures upon these foundations, we should be wary of how we may be substituting — or deepening — existing problems. We should exercise caution, tread carefully and hone our observation skills to hawk-levels. I realised that introducing myself as Caroline is unhelpful — now I try to introduce myself with where I work, who I work with, and a summary of how I came to be on Pohnpei. I recommend this book if you fall within the stated target audience.

Reading period 27/01/19–10/02/19

Why and how I chose this book:

Tokyo SOGO Fitness Group leader Leo Fuchigami posted it in his 259-book reading list and as book five in his “Chain of Giving” project. Leo had been wanting to read it since he learnt it’s one of Jeff Bezos’s favourite books. I was curious to read fiction based in early 20th century England written by an award-winning Japanese-born author.

What stood out for me?

Attention to detail can affect important issues in immeasurable ways. During a distinguished visitor’s serious discussions with Lord Darlington, the butler claims a modest contribution to the good of society thanks to the positive effect of his well-polished silverware. Regarding the craft of writing, what is not written engages the reader’s imagination and leaves me posing questions — incredibly powerful.

Why did the author write this book?

Ishiguro paints his picture to tease out subtle tensions and uncertainties of life. Like the butler, I am left wondering how Lord Darlington affected the war. How do we cope with changing perceptions — if we value our work for the contribution we believe we are making to a greater good, should we re-evaluate when time calls those beliefs into question?

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

I recommend this book like admiring a painting — reading it felt like the tide coming in and going out again. Around 80% of the way through I thought about giving up and was looking forward to finishing, perhaps more so than finding out what happened. The Remains of the Day did not win my heart though I’m still intrigued to explore Ishiguro’s range. I have noticed my tendency to put myself down if I “don’t get” something which the literary world tells me is amazing. In my journey of learning to love myself, I more readily notice such negative criticisms of my thoughts and feelings.

2018: 11 books logged of which at least 3,204 pages finished

  • Ayn Rand — Atlas Shrugged (1957) 1188 pages ( I read 22/10/18 –20/01/19)

Why? Kept hearing it mentioned on Tim Ferriss’s podcast. What incredible work! I loved that it was so long and meaty. Need to return to and jump into for random philosophical insights.

  • Paulo Coelho — Manual of the Warrior (1997) 160 pages (started Sep ‘18)

Why? Still needed still more Coelho!

  • Charlotte Bronte — Jane Eyre (1847) 702 pages (started Sep ‘18)

Why? Wanted to read female authored fiction. Couldn’t remember if I’d actually read this classic before.

  • Paulo Coelho — The Alchemist (1988) (in English) 178 pages (started Sep. ‘18)

Why? Fresh off my meditation retreat, it was time to return to this classic, which previously I’d only read in French.

  • Leil Lowndes — How to Talk To Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (2013) 354 pages (started Aug. ’18) (nearly finished but the writing puts me off)

Why? Googled around for books on improving relationships or something? Useful information, uninspiring writing and editing.

  • Jalal Al-Din Rumi — The Essential Rumi (in English) (2010) 340 pages (ordered Aug. ’18) (unfinished — for dipping on the Kindle)

Why? Wanted a beautiful hot spring of words to dip into at leisure and thought it was about time to make friends with Rumi.

  • Robert Greene — The 48 Laws of Power (2000) 480 pages (started in May ’18) (unfinished in my box of books being shipped to me)

Why? I’d dipped into his Art of Seduction but felt more interested in power fundamentals. Thought I should equip myself with these laws to better protect myself from others using them against me.

Why and how I chose this book:

I’d seen it around for a while, had it personally recommended a few times and no doubt was reminded of it through podcasts. Sapiens is the first of Harai’s trilogy documenting the past, present, and future of mankind.

What stood out for me?

Human beings evolved in a context very different from that in which we are living today, just like moths. Moths evolved their navigational instincts to fly towards the moon which leads modern moths to fly into lightbulbs. It’s useful to become aware of our deeply hardwired circuitry so we can distinguish that which is useful and that which we can benefit from unlearning.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

Sapiens was a mind-blowing read but without writing notes, I forget most details and am left only with the feelings I associate with reading[1]. Sapiens pairs well with Freakonomics to reveal and challenge underlying beliefs. I am looking forward to reading all of Harai’s well-researched and clearly presented books.

  • Viktor Frankl — Man’s Search for Meaning (1946) 160 pages (ordered in May’18)

Why? Repeatedly heard about it through Tim Ferriss. It was a way I could connect to my family heritage and their unspoken experiences in concentration camps. At the end of 2018 I visited Auschwitz.

  • Tara Brach — Radical Acceptance (2004) 352 pages (ordered in April ‘18)

Why? Absolute must-read in my journey of learning to love myself. I was in tears before the end of page one.

Why and how I chose this book:

Years ago you would not have caught me reading this. I would have looked at this guy’s shiny-white-teeth American smile, read the title and dismissed it as not-for-me. I used to think money was at the root of all evil. Around 2017, I realised it was time to re-evaluate my relationship with money. I heard about the Dickens Process which Tony Robbins leads his seminar participants through. I did a customized Do-It-Yourself Dickens Process in my notebook (see photo below). That yielded positive benefits so I decided to invest in his book.

What stood out for me?

Breaking down your dream into its individual components and their costs is the first step to transforming dreams into reality.

How do I feel after reading? How will it change my life? Do I recommend it?

The Dickens Process and this book have helped me to see that money is a tool — having more funds available gives me greater choice on how I express my values in the world. This book guides you into immediate action — I was so excited sketching out limitless dreams which I have the power to transform into reality. I haven’t yet finished MONEY Master the Game because it takes time to achieve financial milestones. In early 2018 I became debt-free and allowing myself to live anywhere anyhow with no one’s financial claims weighing upon me. By the end of 2018 I had saved an 9-month financial safety net — now I can adventure boldly knowing I can pull my way through failures and the expected unexpected. Now I am working towards having a minimum of $10,000 and preferably $20,000 to invest however I see fit by the end of 2019.

2017: Ten books logged of which at least 225 pages finished

  • Nassim Nicholas Taleb — The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable (2007) 444 pages (ordered in Sep ’17)

Why? In my selection of books to read to before investing.

What stood out for me? Expect the unexpected. Uncertainty is certain. Don’t be an idiot — be prepared. Great guide for life.

  • Roger Lowenstein — Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist (1995) 512 pages (ordered in Sep ’17)

Unfinished — I got bored after I felt I’d learnt the lesson — doing one thing repeatedly with unswerving makes you an expert. If this is your passion, you have found your hedgehog.

Why and How I Chose? In my selection of books to read to before investing.

  • Dale Carnegie — How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) 288 pages (ordered in Sep ’17)

Why? I distinctly remember that I had historically rejected this book, judging its title as immoral manipulation for the power-hungry. When I finally dived in, I realized how wrong I was — this is a book about how to be a better person.

  • Daniel R. Solin — The Smartest Investment Book You’ll Ever Read (2009) 192 pages (ordered Aug. ’17)

Why? In my selection of books to read to before investing.

What stood out for me?

A book arguing that index funds are the smartest cheapest investment for the average persono who want their money to work for them while they get on with life.

  • Jerzy Gregorek — The Happy Body (2010) 288 pages (ordered Aug. ‘17)

Why? My friend and I decided to try this programme out as accountability buddies to each other.

What stood out for me?

Learn the routine and do the same thing every day, improving. Eat two meals and three snacks a day, three hours apart, with six hours between the meals. With my body-type aptly names as ‘scale-watcher’, I became obsessed by the readings on my body composition scale. I became a happier body once I sold the scales and am now trying to reconnect with listening to what my body needs.

  • Esther Perel — Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2009) 264 pages (ordered May ’17)

Why? Loved the podcast interview I heard and was further intrigued by Perel’s interest in Holocaust survivors, which I feel connected with with my Polish heritage.

What stood out for me?

There are numerous ways to lead fulfilling relationships. Man and wife combo is just one arrangement of many. Learn to listen to and love yourself.

  • Steven Pressfield & Shaun Coyne — The War of Art (2011) 192 pages (ordered April ’17)

Why? Podcast interview.

What stood out for me?

Inspired by this book I wrote this poem:

  • Simon Sinek — Start With Why (2009) 247 pages (ordered April ’17)

Why? Because of his TED talk

  • Eve Ensler & Jacqueline Woodson — The Vagina Monologues (1998) 273 pages (ordered Feb. ’17)

Why? Thought it was about time I read it.

  • Paula Hawkins — The Girl on the Train (2015) 326 pages (ordered Jan. ’17)

Why? I think a friend recommended it or maybe Amazon did after I read Gone Girl.

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Caro Kocel
Caro Kocel

Written by Caro Kocel

129 Followers
46 Following

Nature-loving life-learning hula-hooping sunshine fish: UK, France, Japan, Micronesia.

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