Marrow Madness
Poem about the annual marrow insurgency
If you let a zucchini
- also known as courgette - grow
It gets massive in an instant
Et voilà — this is a marrow!
There are many ways to eat it
Grate it raw into courgetti
Or cook it into ratatouille -
Serve with spaghetti
At first it’s fun to eat courgettes
Free vegetables sound ideal!
But soon you’ll need to get creative
To use it in your every meal
Combine courgette with oil and herbs
Into the oven — roast
Or boil with ginger for marrow-jam
To spread upon your toast
Fry marrow, stuff marrow
Barbecue or bake
Your kids won’t notice vegetables
In chocolate-marrow cake
The courgettes are growing quickly
Into marrows coming steady
You check today and pick them all
Tomorrow - three more are ready
Give a marrow to a nearby child
To take it home to mum
I’m sure she’d love to bake a loaf
With cinnamon and plum
Courgette salad, marrow soup
Too many give you the jitters
So pace yourself accordingly with those
Sweetcorn-marrow fritters
Vegetable shops try selling their way
Out of the marrow-sea
While gardeners leave them in boxes outside
With signs saying “Please Take For Free!”
The marrows are taking over
So many they’re fuelling fears
That marrows are now coming out of
Over two-thirds of gardeners’ ears!
Take a marrow or two to give away
When you drink at your local pub
If anyone gets aggressive about that
You can wield it as a club
The brighter days get shorter
As summer draws to a close
At last! You can take a breath now
As the marrow-crop finally slows
So make a batter for deep fried chips
You’ve survived a marrow-apocalypse
BUT…
Before you go back to a life of reason
Remember! It’s almost squash season
